Thoughts?

Some news of note:

Enjoy your swim!  Swimming Pools Are Public Toilet Bowls for Many: Survey | Healthy …

The medical term is Acute Trumashowitis: ILLNESS: People believe they’re stars of own reality TV programs…

14 Photographs That Shatter Your Image of Famous People.  This one’s my fave:

Eminem loves Alf. And birthday cake!

Would you like some wood pulp with that pancake?  No?  Too bad.  The 6 Most Horrifying Lies The Food Industry is Feeding You

Tough love! Man abandons daughter over bad grades

Remember to finish up watching The Shadow.  Tomorrow, guest reviewer, Cookie Monster, weighs in with his thoughts when our Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes!  You can brush up on past reviews here: Film reviews by resident film criti…

Once our work is done on the miniseries (in a couple of weeks), I guess I’ll be shifting gears to that rewrite of my horror script.  I’ve been asked to compress some of the build-up in the first 65 pages and get to the All-Hell-Breaks-Loose twist a little sooner.  A little more stalk and suspense in the late second act and through the third act is what a couple of readers have requested.

There’s also a comedy pilot I’ve been meaning to finish up work on, but I’m not sure where that will fill in my up-in-the-air schedule.  I was hoping to go away in June (Hawaii!), and then visit Montreal and San Diego (Comic Con) in July, but my dog-sitter’s availability may deep-six those plans.  I may be able to squeeze in a Vegas getaway at the end of July, but another trip to Europe to attend the wedding of some dear friends (Berlin, Paris, and Madrid) may also have to be scuttled.  On the bright side, Vancouver IS beautiful in the summer.

With a break in my schedule, I finally got around to asking my vet to write me a letter of reference for the Seattle Pug Rescue.  I’m considering adopting an elderly pug (or two) and they, evidently, want to make certain I’ll be able to provide the pooches with a good home. Anyway, my vet wrote a terrific letter that ended with: “His care is so fantastic that I hope to be reincarnated as one of his pets!”.  Stellar.

I’ve got to get around to selling my car.  Ivon suggests craigslist and I suppose that’s the way I’ll end up going but, to be honest, it just seems like such a pain in the ass.  How many kooks (or worse) am I going to have to wade through before making the sale?

As we head into the summer season, various farmer’s markets start popping up around the city offering the sort of fresh fruit and vegetables you’ll be hard-pressed to find at your local supermarket. The other day, we picked up some fresh corn and Akemi made a wonderful soup.

Boil the corn in salted water. Puree with some of the boiling water. Chill. Strain.

And serve! Dollop of foamed milk and sprinkle of paprika optional.

Dense, sweet, and delicious.  It made me nostalgic for the fantastic corn soup Chef Belcham used to make at Fuel/Refuel.

For some reason, the usually spry Bubba has slowed down in the last couple of weeks.  Jelly, meanwhile, keeps chugging along -

Cookie Monster asked me to remind everyone that the Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes this Monday.  Up for discussion and review: The Shadow (1994).  The trailer looks promising:

There were plenty of exhibitors offering free samples of everything from Greek yogurt and olive oil to chocolate and smoothies.  Ultimately, there was nothing there you couldn’t find at most high-end grocers but I suppose it’s an opportunity to get the word out about their respect products.  In addition to food, there were other retailers selling dog treats, kitchen products, and information on travel to Louisiana, Mexico, and the Philippines. There was also a separate booze section that was a little more interesting.

In terms of entertainment, we were treated to some sort of Chef Off on the big stage featuring some Food Network personalities, and a barista competition that was difficult to watch given the angle of the seating and the fact that most of the baristas worked with their backs to the audience.  A big screen offered a live feed of the action but, unfortunately, the bright lights pretty much blew out the picture so it was near impossible to make out what was going on.

As for the food – the main draw – there were some two dozen food stands, mainly local restaurants, selling 2-3 bite-sized portions of fairly unremarkable plates: quite a few mini burgers, some tacos, desserts.

Akemi in happier times (aka before we forked over our $32 to gain entrance to EAT! Vancouver).

We lose Sheryl and West at the cheese seminar. Apparently, they failed their finals.

The high point of the afternoon was meeting blog regular, JYS, who recognized me (I actually think it was Akemi he recognized) and stopped to chat. He gave me a tip on some great macarons and I thanked him by promising to visit the restaurant where he works and being hyper-critical about my meal.

While we were talking, an elderly woman stumbled over a pocket of cables and took a tumble right behind us.  Then, seconds later, another elderly woman tripped but managed to steady herself before eating carpet.  I suggested we step aside or risk being taken out at the knees.

Even the chocolate-peanut butter mousse was a disappointment. I mean, come on! The chocolate-peanut butter mousse!

On the way out, I stopped to snap some photos of the melon art at one of the Thai restaurant booths:

Too pretty to eat.  At least that’s what they said when I tried to eat it.

As it turned out, EAT! Vancouver wasn’t a total waste of my time.  I ended up buying two bottles of some lovely flavored oils:

Once you factor in their purchase price, the entrance fee, and the cost of parking, they came out to roughly $35 a bottle.

I’ll have to be sure to use them sparingly.

Mailbag:

Yates writes: “I’ll be at SDCC selling my wares – booth 1335, look for the guy with all the colorful puzzles – It would be great to say hello!”

Answer: I’ll track you down!

DP writes: “Here you go: the list of words to avoid to supposedly keep the Department of Homeland Security from cyber-stalking you.”

Answer: Yep, pretty much covered all of them while researching this miniseries.

Tam Dixon writes: “I thought prawns were just big shrimp? I’ve never seen them prepared like that.”

Answer: Went out for sushi last night.  Look at what they served us with our spot prawn aburi…

KEK writes: “The stuff done on BSG was groundbreaking, not even surpassed in SGU. The stuff we’ve seen on Stargate is relatively generic by comparison, with nothing really setting it apart too much from Trek or even Dr Who.”

Answer: The second sentence receives a huge ?????!!!! from me.  As for the first part  - yes, BSG did amazing things with, as you pointed out, a significantly bigger budget, but the aliens our VFX team created for episodes like Space and Awakening were second to none.

Debra writes: “Speaking of your guys, did I miss an update on the older adoption pair you wanted?”

Answer: Nope.  I’ve been busy working on this miniseries and wanted to go away for a little vacation before adopting.

Line Noise writes: “I’m curious about the origins of this mini series.  Was it an idea that you and Paul had on the shelf that your agent was shopping around? Or were you approached out of the blue by the producers?”

Answer: The latter.

Line Noise also writes: “If the latter, how much of the story was already decided by the producers before you started writing? Were you tightly constrained by certain elements or did you have free reign?”

Answer: They came to us with several concepts and there was one that particularly appealed to us.  They had some suggestions for the opening and potential dramatic developments but we were otherwise given free rein in building the story.  We broke the 16 act narrative over the course of a week, received notes on the outline, and started work on the script soon after.

Line Noise also writes: “How much interaction do you have with the producers during the writing process? Are you sending them regular drafts and receiving notes?”

Answer: As I said, we received notes at the outline stage.  We’ll receive our next round of notes after delivery of the first draft.  And then, depending on how tight the prep schedule, probably one last set of notes on the second draft.

Line Noise also writes: “I’m just intrigued because if cameras roll in July the producers must be pretty confident they’re going to get what they want from you.”

Answer: The outline was fairly detailed, breaking down every scene and beat in each act of the four hour event, so there won’t be any surprises at the script stage.  There will no doubt be notes, but they won’t be of the “I think the end of act 4 should be the end of act 2″ variety.

Ponytail writes: “I’m wondering if when you reflect back on your Stargate days, if the problems you had with production or people involved don’t seem so bad anymore, and you recognize it was all just a part of the process?”

Answer: Stargate was such a well-oiled machine that there were few if any big problems to deal with.  Sure, there were some minor hiccups along the way typical of any production – scheduling conflicts, disagreements on creative or other matters – but those were issues quickly addressed and just as quickly forgotten.  We had a show to produce!

mike mcginnis writes: “Two quick questions
1. can please do an SGA trip down memory lane?
2. if you get shanks to answer questions, could you also ask hewlett to stop by at one point and maybe flanigan?”

Answer: 1. Yes, eventually.  2. David’s web presence is bigger than mine and has made himself very accessible to fandom!  Having him do a Q&A here would be redundant.

I picked up about a dozen fresh spot prawn the other day and, while we were cleaning them, Akemi asked whether I wanted to prepare them head on or head off.  She’s squeamish about certain things (ie. eating a face with beady black eyeballs) and leaned toward tossing the heads which I found altogether unJapanese.  Why, I recall that one of my favorite menu items at a tempura joint in Ginza was its deep-fried prawn heads.  And so, I decided “Why not have the best of both worlds?”.  We decapitated the prawn and I prepared the heads as a side dish.  Like so:

After washing the prawn heads and patting them dry, toss them in flour. You can add some salt, pepper, maybe garlic powder or paprika as well but I’d avoid any herbs or minced garlic that could overcook and turn bitter in the extended frying process.  I was considering using egg or even some soda water, but Akemi advised against it.

Heat some canola oil in a wok (or deep-fryer of your choice) and heat the oil to somewhere between hot and really hot (380 degrees, let’s say?). Pop your prawn in and cook ’til crispy, about five minutes.

Sprinkle with salt and serve.

They were quite good but, of course, nowhere near as good as the ones I enjoyed in Tokyo.  In retrospect, maybe I should’ve gone with the egg and soda water.

Mailbag:

Ponytail writes: “I can’t think of any 70′s show that might have had a “bible”. Can you? Each week was basically anew again.”

Answer: I’m quite certain that whether or not they had a series bible had nothing do with its serialized or stand-alone structure.  SGU, for instance, was somewhat serialized – we knew where we were going – but we were never working off an official “bible”.  We had a series overview and character breakdowns to get us started in addition to the plan creators Brad Wright and Robert Cooper had in mind, but there was never a detailed blueprint for the show that a “series bible” implies.

Michael Carney writes: “Joe: how fleshed-out are series bibles typically before a series begins?”

Answer: It really depends on the show.  Some productions prefer to have a highly detailed bible in place before moving forward on a show while others prefer a less-detailed series overview.  I personally prefer the latter because the more detailed your game plan in the beginning, the more difficult it will be to make changes as a series progresses – and there are always changes.  Somethings work out better than expected while other things don’t work out at all.  Opportunities suddenly present themselves and it’s nice to have the ability to respond in stride and allow the creative to evolve rather than paint yourself into a corner from the get-go.

Michael Carney also writes: “And, in a related question, does a network being pitched a series like SGU or Fringe need details of the story arc and its eventual conclusion before giving the green light?”

Answer: A network will certainly want to know where the show is headed, and see proof of concept in the form of a pilot script, but it won’t need to know the conclusion in order to green light a show.

Ponytail also writes: “Joe those two elder pugs you’re trying to adopt aren’t getting any younger. What is the problem with that organization? They are starting to make me really mad!”

Answer: I’m to blame for the delay.  I’ve been busy working on this miniseries and haven’t had time to gather all the necessary documentation.  I just got a letter reference from my vet and will be forwarding that tomorrow.

Cyn writes: “Do you look back, Joe? Do you look at SGA or SG-1 and say nobody did that like us or we did a hell of a thing? Do you miss it? Will Stargate ever come back, you think?”

Answer: I do reflect back fondly on my Stargate days.  I worked with a great group of people – generous and immensely talented – and really miss the camaraderie and the incredible results of all of our hard work. Nobody did do it like us, especially with regard to our visual effects. Our VFX team, led by the great Mark Savela, was continuously producing viz effects at least a step or two ahead of anything else being done on television at the time.  It’s a damn shame they didn’t receive the recognition they deserved. As for Stargate’s future – I don’t know. It’s a valuable franchise that, someday, will be reborn, probably in the form of a feature.  Whether or not it builds on the mythology and characters developed in its television incarnation is the big question.

JeffW writes: “Any other “must try” restaurants in Gastown? Macarons?”

Answer: Boneta is also a nice restaurant.  Cobre is terrific but, alas, closed until September.  Cartem Donuterie is within walking distance.

The restaurant is the brainchild of Trevor Bird, one of the three remaining chefs competing in this season’s Top Chef Canada finale.  Its farm to table concept (Farm + Table = Fable.  Get it?) is reflected in a menu highlighting local, seasonal ingredients.  Joining Trevor in kitchen is fellow Top Chef competitor Curtis Luk, the master of the macaron, an avowed Stargate fan who dropped by this blog last month to set the record straight (April 22, 2012: Beta 5! A Top Chef contestant checks in! Switching over from horror to mini-series mode!).

Come on in!  It’s (almost officially) open!

The room has been transformed but there are still recognizable elements that made me nostalgic for Refuel.  The wait and kitchen staff, however, are all new.

We walked in and were promptly greeted by Trevor who was overseeing the action (and, on this night, the kitchen would see a lot of it).  After perusing the menu, we elected to leave our respective foodie fates in the hands of the head chef by going with the seven course Chef’s Tasting Menu.  Trevor swung by the table to discuss any food issues we might have  (allergies, vegetarianism, and other similar illnesses).  We informed him he had carte blanche – with one request. We had to try Curtis’s famed macarons for dessert.

Our server was pleasant and informative, checking in on us throughout the meal without being intrusive.  That said, there were a couple of – well, I hesitate to call them snafus.  They were more odd choices. For instance, we ordered bottle water for the table and received two – one for each of us.

Hope you’re thirsty!

Ultimately, not a big deal because Akemi and I like to stay hydrated through our dinners, but certainly unexpected.

On to the meal:

Local and sustainable Sawmill Bay oysters with citrus and vodka mignonette.  Akemi is a huge fan of oysters and loved this little bite.  They’re tiny so, next time, we might consider starting with a dozen. 

Chickpea fritters with curry mayo, pickled red onions and pea shoots.  The combination of the ingredients really made this dish.  The pickled red onions were a genius element.

Canned Tuna.  No, really.  The tuna is poached, then served up – canned – with a pinch of maldon salt and toast.  Sprinkle the salt on top of the tuna, mix, and – bon appetit.  Actually, it was better then bon.  It was one of the best dishes of the night.  As someone who has always considered cooked tuna inferior to raw, I was pleasantly surprised.  Very tasty with a texture akin to a fine pate.

Akemi goes wild over the canned tuna.

Crispy chorizo-topped halibut on clam chowder.  This one had a nice smoky kick compliments of the chorizo, and the halibut (my least favorite fish) was moist and perfectly prepared.  

Pemberton Farms flat iron steak with brocollini, potato fondant, and black pepper jam.  I’m not a big fan of the flat iron cut, preferring the marbling of a good ribeye, but this admittedly tender meat was greatly elevated by the sweet and spicy black pepper jam that accompanied it.  Wow.  That jam was another highlight of the night.  The potato fondant was overseasoned, a little too salty, but that didn’t stop Akemi from finishing mine.   

I asked the waiter about dessert and he told me we would be having the bread pudding along with the macarons (as per our request).  After confirming that we would be served two dishes (a bread pudding and a macaron plate), I went ahead and ordered two extra desserts I’d been eyeing: the lemon pot de creme and the flourless chocolate cake. Moments later, our next course arrived: TWO servings of bread puddings.  Fortunately, I’m a professional when it comes to eating desserts…

The bread pudding with vanilla and rhubarb ice cream.  The bread pudding was unlike any bread pudding I’ve tried before, both in presentation and taste.  It was actually very good!  The rhubarb component offered a tart contrast to the sweetness of the pudding – if you like that sort of thing.  

The lemon pot de creme was excellent.  I was kind of hoping Akemi would have been full by this point, but she had no trouble polishing it off.  Betsu bara as they say in Japan.

The flourless chocolate cake with rhubarb cream.  The only misstep of the night.  I was looking forward to the rich denseness of a true flourless cake but was disappointed by the   alternating layers of white chocolate ganache that reminded me of a buttercream birthday cake. 

And the macarons: lime on the left and dulce de leche on the right.  The former was a little chewy and could have used some tarting up with more of a lime kick but the latter was perfect in flavor and texture.

Akemi and her macaron-burger.

As I said, Fable is still a week or two away from its official opening so I’m sure that it’s still in the process of testing, refining, and perfecting. If I was in charge of fine-tuning, I’d double-check the seasoning, swap out the flat iron cut for a sexier cut, lose that white chocolate ganache and, in the unfortunate event one of my servers broke a glass, I’d make sure he apologized to the neighboring table (not us on this night).

Overall though, this restaurant holds a lot of promise.  I look forward to checking out its lunch offerings sometime next week.  After Trevor, no doubt, wins the Top Chef title.

Talent aint learned.  Hell, it aint even earned.  It’s innate and develops from passion and a commitment to the craft.  Sure, there are ways to disguise a lack of talent, tart it up like some average-looking porn star transformed into an object of lofty desire by the magic of too much make-up and good lighting.  That’s why so many movies and t.v. shows are utter shit.  Blame the perfect storm of: a) untalented hacks who have managed to charm their way onto a writing gig, b) the inability of the people hiring them to differentiate between a good script and a bad one, and c) an audience’s willingness to settle for crap.  99% of any production’s problems can be addressed at the script stage.  It’s just a matter of finding a scriptwriter able to do the job – and the people willing to let him/her do it.

Where was I?  Oh, yeah: creative writing classes.  When I call them bullshit, I’m not saying they’re a complete waste of time.  If nothing else, they force you to write and, after all, it’s the act of writing that makes you a better writer.  Of course, one could argue that a writer who can’t motivate him or herself to write has no business being a writer, but I’ll admit that there have been times when I’ve felt unmotivated.  It usually happens when I’m distracted by something I’d much rather be doing like reading a book, napping, or picking the dog crap off my back lawn.  Writing can be hard.  It can be frustrating.  But so are most jobs.  I bet that a lot of office workers would, all things being equal, prefer an extra half hour of lunch to photocopying and collating Herb’s fucking presentation.  So, in that respect, creative writing classes can be worthwhile.  Especially if you’re very lazy.

Now that I think of it, creative writing classes can also help by providing a venue in which to receive  honest feedback on your work – as opposed to the sugarcoated lies your friends or family will feed you. I don’t care if Aunt Mildred loved it, your third act twist is forced and contrived.  And the jaguar attack in the second act is fucking stupid. You need someone to tell you these things.  You need the unvarnished critique that only a disinterested stranger can truly provide.

So, I stand corrected.  They’re not total bullshit.  If you’re lazy and are surrounded by dishonest friends and family members, then you may derive some benefit from a creative writing course.

Seminars, on the other hand – now THEY are total bullshit!

Dis movie nowhere near fantastic but, all in all, not de worst fan film monster have ever seen.  De skript be cliche and contrived, de akting hokey and over-de-top, and de special effekts soooo cheezy, but you have to remember dat dis movie not made by profeshiunals.  It a produkt of love by group of people wit absolutely no experience making movies and even less money to…wait.  What?  WHAAAAT?!  Dis NOT a fan film?

WHAAAT?!!

Okay, apparently dis a real movie.  Or is it?  It was made for 1.4 million dollars.  Direktor and aktors were told it was real.  But producer only made movie so he would not lose rights to Fantastic Four.  Movie never released and producer went on to make bigger budjet Fantastic Four movie in 2005 (which monster hear be not dat much better).  Dat explain A LOT.

Movie begin wit Reed and Victor, best friends, who decide to harness de power of…COLOSSUS an energy asteroid thingy dat flying by Earth! (Pleaze do not try dis at home!)

Reed and Victor, BFF. Or, as slashers call dem, “Mr. FanDoomStick”.

Experiment not exactly smooooth sailing.  Lab blow up.  Victor badly injured!  Reed go to visit him at hospital but creepy Borat doktors tell him dat Viktor dead.

BUT it turn dey not just your run-of-de-mill creepy Borat doktors. Viktor still alive and dey kidnap him!  Why?  Who are dey?  Audience never find out.  Mebbe we have to wait for direktor’s cut.

Ten years later, Reed and his buddy pilot Ben plan to fly into space and harness power of…COLOSSUS!  (Please do not try dis at home!)  On way to outerspace, dey drop by home of friends Sue and Johnny Storm and invite dem to join.  Why?  Sure, dey may not have proper astronaut training, but Reed not want to make dem feel left out.  Even tho he not seen dem in 10 years!

Check out de low rent Freddy Kreuger.

Meanwhile, really lame charakter called De Jeweler (who live underground wit fellow hobos who akt like dey in a children’s theater produktion of Oliver Twist), fall in love wit blind sculptor, Alicia, who in love with Ben after he bump into her, destroy her art, den lift her up off her feet and proklaim: “You’re safe wit me!”.  What a douche.  Jeweler decide to steal a diamond for her, de biggest diamond he know – which happen to be what Reed will use in his spaceship to harness de power of…COLOSSUS!  (Did me mention you shouldn’t try dis at home?)  Anyway, diamond kept in high-security laser-protected lab – which, apparently, can be beaten by a good game of hopscotch. Jeweler steal diamond and switch it wit fake.

As a result, space mission not exaktly go as planned.  Ship blow up in space!

Spektacular visual effekt compliments of tin foil and some firecrackers.

Crazy 70′s kaleidoskope effekts!  Somehow, pieces of ship and all four crew members (Reed, Ben, Sue, and Johnny) survive re-entry and all land in de same place.  Turn out dey all have superpowerz! Johnny can make fire!  Reed be stretchy!  Sue can go invisible!  In one of best scenes in movie, military arrive and talking to Reed when Ben show up. Everyone shocked except Ben who, for some reason, not even happen to notice he turned into…A BIG ORANGE ROCK MONSTER!

Johnny have de hot hand. Heh.

Military take dem to lab where goofy doktor examine dem.  Nyuk nyuks ensue.  Thing sit and break chair.  Johnny scare doktor with flame. Sue startle doktor and cause him to stick hisself wit needle.  Reed uses stretchy arm to take needle from doktor.  Ho ho ho!

Can’t wait for de urinalysis.

Fantastic Four (dat what Sue and Johnny’s mom call dem) get suspishus.

De original Orange Crush.

Turn out dey not being held by de military.  Dey being held by Victor who now goes by name of DR. DOOM (me tink he got honorary doctorate from Latveria U) -

Click-click-click-click. “I am Doom. Moohoohahahahahahahahahaha!” Click.

Dr. Doom walk around in metal suit and green robe.  His voice sound like he in a tin can somewhere in de next room (monster guess produktion couldn’t be bothered to bring aktor in for dubbing).  He always tapping his metal fingerz, click-click-click-click-click.  And laughing in good ole’ cheezy superillain fashion: “Moooohoooohahahahahahahahahahaha!”.  At least he have positive attitood.

FF eskape.  Bullets bounce off Thing.  Reed (aka Mr. Fantastik, aka Stretchy Stretcherson) stretch out his leg and trip every soldier running into room. EVERY soldier.  Dey just trip right over his leg and knocked unconscious by fall.

Dr. Doom go to steal diamond from De Jeweler who has kidnapped Alicia to make her his Queen.  Doom’s Doom Trooperz kick ass and take diamond.  Dey also kidnap Alicia, knocking her out wit kloroform(?). We see from Alicia Point of View as she sprayed in face, kloroform take effekt, den tings go all fuzzy and…

Uh, waitaminute.  Isn’t Alicia blind?

Shhhshhhshhhh.

Dr. Doom plan to use diamond to power laser he will use to destroy New York!  He send Reed proof: stock footage of nuclear blast blowing away house.  Fantastic Four go to Doom’s hideout in new outfits Sue sew for dem (Dat a girl!).  But dey get trapped in forcefields!

Reverse force field allows prisoners easy access in AND out!

But not very good forcefields.  For some reason, Reed able to stretch his leg out and kick over laser.  Yep.  Just kick it over.  Explosions!  FF is free!

But laser already fired at New York!  No problem.  Johnny turn into Human Torch and chase it down.  For real.  Laser traveling at SPEED OF LIGHT!  And he still catch up!

At dis point, movie turn into cartoon.  Human Torch save de dey.

Human Torch save de dey, Hanna Barbera style!

Reed chase down Dr. Doom.  Fight!  Doom hanging off building and ask Reed to help him.  Reed reach out – at which point Doom give de old “You don’t have what it take to kill me!” speech.  Doom lose his glove and disappear into de cloudz below.  Cloudz below?!  How high up are dey?!

Hurray!  Johnny save New York from laser!  Reed defeat Dr. Doom! Thing beat up all de Doom Trooperz!  And Sue sewed de nice outfits dey’re wearing.  Dat’s team work!

Happy ending!  Reed and Sue get married.  In deir costumes for some reazon.  Dey get into car and, as dey drive away, Reed stretch out his arm and wave bye bye.

Bye bye, wedding guests! Bye bye, viewers! Bye bye any chance of a sequel!

Whew!  Monster can’t believe he sit thru dis entire movie.  (PLEAZE do not try dis at home!)

Verdikt: If Fantastic Four taught monster anyting, it dat crappy moviez be crappy moviez, but crappy superhero moviez be de crappiest of all! Also, apparently most homeless people be failed Shakespearean aktors.

Rating: 1 chocolate chippee cookie earned by costume department.

Last weekend, Akemi, Ivon and I checked out the Summer Night Market in Richmond.  This weekend, Akemi, Jessie and I checked out the similarly themed Richmond Night Market.

We arrived a little after 7:00 p.m. and, after winding our way and finding a spot in the massive parking area, walked to the entrance area.  Unlike the Summer Night Market, there’s a $1 admission fee per person.  Unlike the Summer Night Market, however, there are A LOT of varied food stands to choose from.  And, really, when it comes down to it, that’s what it’s all about.

A pictorial rundown of our outing:

We started with some great roti.  You get a choice of three meats (beef, pork, or chicken) that is stuffed into a sweet little pocket.  A little messy but oh so tasty.

An Osaka tradition: the okonomiyaki.  Good but I’ve been spoiled by Akemi’s home made okonomiyaki.

Roasted Pork hocks.  Nicely cooked.  The meat was surprisingly tender, the skin crunchy and a little daunting.  Akemi found it underseasoned.

The ladies show off the pork hock.  Make sure to ask them to cut it up for you!

The bulgogi burger.  Meh.  We were expecting bulgogi meat.  Instead, we got a regular beef patty topped with kimchee and bulgogi sauce (?).  I repeat: meh.

The takoyaki bomb!  Actually, I think it’s called a tenki, but I call it a takoyaki bomb because it’s the size of a tennis ball.  It comes in a variety of intriguing flavors.  I got the curry and was very impressed.  As were Jesse and Akemi who insisted they were full – until they sampled it.

When it comes to deep fried desserts, I always go for the Deep Fried Mars.  Pretty damn sweet – and Akemi kept trying to convince me I’d had enough – after only my first bite!

Mochi ice cream – ice cream covered with a mochi (sticky rice) coating.  The mathca (green tea) was hard and crystalized.  The vanilla was so-so.  But the clear winner – surprise surprise – was the mango.

Even though I was already well into the dessert stage, I couldn’t resist having a Taiwanese sausage.  This one was stuffed with a garlic sauce that was – well, sweet and a little weird.  Also, very garlicky!  So garlicky I regretted getting it – and I’m Italian!  I love garlic!

We capped off our food tour with some churros and ice cream.  The were okay.

Following our eat fest, I suggested we walk around and burn off the calories, secretly hoping we’d work up an appetite in the thirty minutes it would take us to cover the many vendors.  Alas, we stayed full – and didn’t really find much of interest.  As we took our stroll, I made a mental note of the top 3 things I would probably never buy at a night market.  In no particular order: contact lenses, underwear, and sushi. I checked out the dozen or so stalls selling assorted iPhone cases in the hopes of finding one bearing the S.H.I.E.L.D. insignia -

Like so!

Alternately, I would have loved to find one with an A.I.M. (Advanced Idea Mechanics) logo -

Like so!

OR a Hydra logo -

Like so!

Alas, no luck.  Akemi and Jessie, meanwhile, had even less luck as they were corralled into a sales pitch and were too polite to immediately extricate themselves -

I considered rescuing them but ultimately thought “Nah”.  This was a powerful lesson on the dangers of stopping at any sales stand if you’re the sole potential customers.

A great time was had by all.  Until we drove out, missed our turn, and then head to double-back, getting caught in a one hour traffic jam to leave Richmond.

And so, now that I’ve had the opportunity to compare the two night markets, I’d like to offer a comparison in very important categories:

LOCATION

Summer Night Market: Easily accessible by car but somewhat harder to get to by public transport.  There’s a bus stop within walking distance and shuttle bus service from the skytrain station.

Richmond Night Market: Equally accessible by car and is easily accessible by the new Canada Line station.  Unfortunately, if you’re driving, traffic is a mess and you should expect long bumper to bumper waits.  Brutal.

EDGE: Summer Night Market.

FOOD

Summer Night Market: Roughly fifty food stands with a lot of repeats.  On my last visited, I counted about five different places selling potatoes-on-a-stick.  Variety would be nice.

Richmond Night Market: About three to four times as many food stands with some incredible variety.

EDGE: Richmond Night Market

VENDORS

Summer Night Market: About a third less of the vendors selling the same bargain-bin items.

Richmond Night Market: More vendors but A LOT of similar items being sold.

EDGE: Let’s call this one a draw.

COST

Summer Night Market: Free.

Richmond Night Market: $1 admission.

EDGE: I’m calling this one a draw.  Unless you’re treating fifty of your closest family members.

WINNER: Richmond Night Market.  Like I said, it’s all about the food. Get there early, 6:00 p.m. to beat the crowd, stuff your face and go.

Some news of note:

Our friend Tara announces an exciting new mystery writing project: *Sparkle Sparkle*.  What could it be?

My fries are too angry!  For the inspired chef looking for something different: Season Your Food With Salt From Real Human Tears

Mama Mia! http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/may/2…eese-production

I’ve often said that, of all the possible deaths out there, the way I least want to go would be in some fashion that lands me in the News of the Weird section of the internet or as some fodder for late night comedians.  To wit: Man dies while getting lap dance at strip club « News and Views …  And this: Farmer, 2 sons drown in manure pit…  While not a unique death, we can nevertheless file this one under “as bad”: Man Loses His Penis to a Flesh-Eating Bacteria After Failed Penile Implant Surgery

No time for second thoughts, grandma.  You’re jumping out of this plane!  WATCH: 80-Year-Old Nearly Falls Out Of Harness While Skydiving  In retrospect, maybe you were right about the whole “second thoughts” thing.

Place your bets on who will be the new DC Comics gay superhero!  http://www.paddypower.com/bet/novelty-bets/comic-specials?ev_oc_grp_ids=689080.  I’ll take Guy Gardner at 14-1.

I saw this on South Park the other day and it pretty much sums up my opinion of a lot of the film and television being produced today.  Not for the easily (and even not so easily) offended: http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/388737/rated-arg-for-pirates

You know what?  Screw the night market.  I’m waiting for these guys to open: http://www.luckysdoughnuts.com/

AND the mailbag:

Randomness writes: “Speaking about writers for your mini series Joe, I was kinda hoping to see the name Brad Wright on something new on TV, any plans to hire him for your writing team Joe? I actually would love to see him writing more Science fiction stuff.”

Answer: The miniseries we’re presently working on is a freelance gig.  It’s a four hour event and, once we’ve completed work on the script, we’ll be moving on.  The Dark Matter miniseries, on the other hand, would be something we would want to produce as well as write – but, at this point, it’s just a pitch supported by a four-issue comic book and series overview.  If we’re fortunate enough to get the green light, then Paul and I would certainly be looking to tap the most talented writer-producers we know to help us – coincidentally, the same bunch we worked with on Stargate.  If they’re available and, of course, interested, we’d love to work with Brad, Rob, Carl, Martin, and Alan again.

Speaking of Brad, he’s got a number of SF projects in the works.  I’ll keep my ear to the ground for you…

Randomness also writes: “Secondly, watching any anime lately Joe?”

Answer: Akemi and I are working our way through Gintama.  We’re 132 episodes into its 250+ episode run.  The last anime series I watched independent of Akemi was Deadman Wonderland.  Meh.  Before Deadman Wonderland, I very much enjoyed Steins Gate.

Bolt Bait writes: “Joe, when you do a mailbag, do you ever answer questions from past blog entries or only the one directly previous to the one where you are answering questions?  In other words, if I’m really curious about something, should I post once or should I post every day until you get tired of seeing my question and finally break down and answer it?”

Answer: You should post again – especially if I give you the heads up that I’ll be doing a mailbag.  Prior to doing a mailbag, I’ll usually check out the past 3-5 days’ worth of questions.  Be persistent!

majorsal writes: “can you use your super hero/villain powers and make MGM green-light the stargate combo movie?”

Answer: Wish I could.

dasndanger writes: “Joey, I’m pretty sure you’ve had Vosges chocolate, and I know you’ve done the bacon thing, but back when you last tried the chocobacon bar, was it available in dark chocolate?”

Answer: I’ve tried both the milk and dark chocolate versions.  While good, I much prefer the truffle version I used to get for my chocolate parties.  When it comes to the Vosges bars, I’m partial to the Habana (milk chocolate and plantain).  I also love their peanut butter bonbons.

JeffW writes: “I guess my mailbag question would be, if you could only visit one on a trip, which restaurant would you recommend? Diva at the Met, or Fat Dragon? Or someplace else altogether?”

Answer: Hmmm.  That’s a tough one.  I suppose it depends on your food preferences and budget. Lately, I’ve become a big fan of Gastown’s L’Abbatoir.  Quercia is always great for Italian but you have to book in advance.  For more casual fare, might I suggest Peaceful Restaurant on West Broadcast (corner of Cambie) or La Tacqueria for some awesome tacos.

Lee writes: “I’d like to know your thoughts on SyFy canceling Sanctuary? I tend to agree with most people on Facebook with Stargate and Sanctuary gone I will not have any reason to watch SyFy once Eureka wraps this season.”

Answer: I never watched Sanctuary.  I can only weigh in insofar as I knew a lot of the people who worked on the show and, on that personal level, I feel badly for them.  After years of working on a show, your co-workers become like family.  During my time on Stargate, I spent more time with my fellow writer-producers than I did with my own wife and I’m sure it was no different on Sanctuary.

Ponytail writes: “1. Joe can you say anything more regarding what your horror script is about, except that it is a horror script?”

Answer: Not yet but, once I finish work on this miniseries, I’ll be jumping on the rewrite so that I can hopefully get it out before summer’s end.  I’ll tell you more about it in the coming months.

“2. What did you finally decide two open doors and the alarm going off was?”

Answer: I decided to go with “forgot to lock the back door”.  ”Lulu playing a practical joke” was a close second.

shaneac1 writes: “Question can you give a hint as to the network the SF mini series might be airing. Also have you any thoughts on new yomato series (space battleship yomato 2199) chapter 1 was just realease on DVD/blu ray today.”

Answer: I don’t know whether a North American sale has been made yet.

Patricia Stewart-Bertrand writes: “A question I would like to ask you is, do you ever use your dreams as fodder for your writing? Edgar Allan Poe was known to take advantage of the trips he’d experience from taking drugs to create his macabre stories. Where do you get your ideas?”

Answer: On the rare occasions I can remember my dreams, they are usually so weird that the defy use in any sensible narrative.  My ideas usually come from discussions with friends or spring from other completely different notions.  Occasionally, they’ll come about as a result of my misconstruing the direction of a t.v. show I am watching or a book I am reading – I’ll think to myself “What a great idea!” only to realize that’s not the direction they’re going at all.

llyes writes: “Hey Joe, what did you think of house’s series finale?
personally i was a little confused”

Answer: Hey, I’m still trying to figure out how the police were able to lift House’s fingerprints from some tickets that had been flushed down a toilet in the last episode.  The last episode did leave a bunch of questions unanswered, questions like: “How did House end up in that burning building with the patient?  How did the fire start?  How did House know the exact moment Wilson was delivering his eulogy so that he could send the “shut up” text message?”  And, the biggest question of all: “How the heck did House switch the hospital dental records and fake his own death?”  He wouldn’t have had a chance to do it after the fire which suggests he already had the plan in place before he went to the warehouse.  Meaning the patient was already dead?  And if that was House’s plan all along, why was most of the episode dedicated to his deciding whether or not to save himself and live – especially since living meant helping to make Wilson’s last few months all the more  meaningful.  The latter would have been a huge issue and, since a lot of the discussion was a physical manifestation of his internal debate, the fact that it was never mentioned felt like a huge cheat.

profmadmax writes: “Joe any chance of getting Michael Shanks to drop by the blog? Looking forward to seeing Saving Hope on NBC here!”

Answer: Why, yes.  I’ll drop him a text once I’ve finished work on the miniseries.

Surprisingly, it’s been a while since I sat down to an inspired multi-course meal.  Even more surprisingly was where we enjoyed it last night: Diva at the Met, the somewhat staid restaurant in the Metropolitan Hotel where the Stargate gang and I used to go for their signature burgers topped with foie gras, short rib, crispy onions and white truffle oil (on the occasions when Chris Judge would join us, he’d actually have two!).

It had been a while since I’d been to Diva, but I’d heard intriguing talk of a new chef, Hamid Salimian, seasonal ingredients, and touches of modernist cuisine.

We (who am I kidding?  I!) elected to go with the seven course Chef’s Tasting Menu.  Not every dish was a home run, but the thought that went into their creation and presentation made every one an entertaining and, ultimately, delightful experience.

To start, we were served five “diva snacks”, small bites to tantalize the tastebuds…

Olive oil marshmallows with marshmallow powder.  The olive oil flavor was very subtle, slightly more pronounced in the powder that possessed a touch of sweetness.

Baked potato and chive – served in chip form.  Akemi loved this one. The little sour cream dollops in the center gave it a real Sour Cream & Onions Chip flavor.

The foie gras walnut.  Nope, it’s not a walnut.  It’s a tiny of foie gras shaped to resemble a walnut.  The shavings adorning the quince puree?  THAT’s walnut.

Beet ice with goat cheese and hazelnuts.  This one was a lot of fun.

Elderberry foam.  Akemi liked this one a lot with its partially-melted cotton candy consistency, but the elderberry triggered my gag reflex.  Sorry, it’s a flower thing and the same reason I avoid any of the rose syrup desserts at Indian restaurants.

My dining companion on this evening.

My dining companion’s dining companion on this evening.

Wasn’t crazy about the bread, but liked the butter – sprinkled with a brown butter crumble.

First course: Green almond, radish, heart of palm, and yogurt vinaigrette.  The most beautiful dish of the night but it happened to be my least favorite.  It was my first time having green almond.  Crunchy, slightly sour, it paralleled a lot of the tartness going on in this dish.  I wasn’t a fan of the earthy hearts of palm, but both Akemi and I enjoyed the cucumber.

Second course: Scallop tartare served with taramasalata, black radish, and cilantro.  This dish was a marvel of flavor and textural contrast – a little sweet, a little sour, a little bitter, a little salty, crunchy, creamy.  It even had a hint of spiciness.  I asked my waitress about it and she attributed to the taramasalata, but taramasalata isn’t traditionally spicy.

Third course: Razor clams with crispy sunchokes, hon shimeji mushrooms, and tarragon.  A clever combination of some similarly subtle and textural ingredients.

Fourth course: Spot prawn with fava bean, chermouta, and basil.  One of the top plates of the evening features lightly grilled local spot prawn (in season) served with a smoky, spicy Middle-Easter twist.

Albacore tuna with salsa romesco, artichokes, quail egg, and eggplant.  The tuna was cooked sous-vide and brushed with a dark sauce our waitress informed us was squid mayo (squid ink mayo?) and was imbued with a strong olive flavor.

Course six: Duo of lamb served with saffron crisp, kidney beans, an dstone-dried lime.  Damn, that lime cream packs a wallop.  Still, it married nicely with the lamb.  One of preparations was a lamb neck (possibly braised?) that proved fall-apart-tender and utterly delicious.

Course seven: Rhubarb foam and pearl served with gin jelly and spruce.  Technically accomplished, Akemi loved it, but I would preferred to hardier (ie. chocolate) dessert.

Serving was great.  The only real thumbs down I would give would be to the ambience of the restaurant.  Like I said, the dining room is very staid and quite dark – this despite the fact that, by the time we got out of there a little after 7:00 p.m., it was still very sunny.

An enjoyable meal.  According to our waitress, Chef Salimian changes up the menu items every week, so we’ll definitely have to plan a return visit for late June.

I’m going to try to get around to doing a mailbag this weekend, so if you’ve got a question, post it!

Today entry is dedicated to blog regular Chev.  Happy Birthday, Maryanne!