We spun Marty G.’s latest story idea this morning, going back and forth on various notions as the room argued containment fields, points of science, and hot vs. cold air masses. The thematic shift of his story has turned out to be a good new/bad news situation for me. Good news: HE is now writing “A Very Special Stargate: Atlantis”. Bad news: He takes the #16 slot which means I’m writing #15 which will have to be ready to prep on the day we get back from our summer hiatus. It would be great to have a story locked some time before then, but it’s been mighty slow going. And I’m getting mighty anxious. By the way, best exchange of the day:
Brad: But that contradicts the laws of thermodynamics!
Martin: Laws are made to be broken!
After lunch, we watched the director’s cut of Whispers. It’s five and a half minutes long and much of that is going to come out of a bloated first act because once the fog moves in, thingsmoveveryquickly!
Speaking of Whispers, I received an email from Christina Cox (aka Major Anne Teldy) over the weekend who touched base to inform me she had a great time working on the show and was fighting the urge to order a case of Vosges peanut butter bonbons. She included a bunch ‘o pics from her time with us and kindly consented to my request to post them here. Check them out.
Also, check out two items I received in the mail. A veritable treasure trove of lint brushes and dog fur removers compliments of AmyFo (thanks, Amy). And a copy of the Ark of Truth soundtrack compliments of Joel Goldsmith (Go to freeclyde.com to order your copy and find out what Joel is up to. Oh, and tell him I said hi.)
So, are you finishing up The Blade Itself? I hope so. We’ll be starting our discussion on Monday!
Our home phone has become a curio, an anachronism from a bygone era that continues to take up kitchen space more out of sheer habit and a reluctance to part from tradition than for any practical purpose. Anyone worth talking to contacts us on our cell phones. The house phone, meanwhile, serves as a spam folder of sorts, storing the queries and congratulations of every retail outlet, political campaign, and fundraising drive foolish enough to believe we a) answer our home phone and/or b) will get back to them. Once or twice a week, the phone will ring and, out of curiosity, I’ll glance at the call display. Always an unfamiliar number. “Don’t answer it!”Fondy calls out from wherever she happens to be in the house. As if I didn’t know better.
Like today for instance when curiosity got the better of me and, with Fondy not around to remind me “Don’t answer it!”, I picked up. “Hello?” “Hello and how are you today, sir?“ Damnit! It was a local charity fundraising drive. And not just any local charity fundraising drive. It was the local policeman’s charity fundraising drive. Normally, I have no problem saying no to anyone that cold calls me at home, but if it’s the local police or fire department, that’s another matter. I know it’s ridiculous, but every time it happens, the highly improbable absolute worst case scenario always runs through my mind.
Two weeks later:
Me: Help! Someone’s trying to break into my house!
911 Operator: Mmmm, yeah. A police cruiser is on it’s way - but there’s no guarantee it won’t run out of gas before it gets there. Boy, now that I think about it, that lousy ten dollar contribution could’ve been a real lifesaver.
Or -
Me: What’s the problem, officer?
Officer: You were doing 51 in a 50 zone. Also, your windshield wipers match the description of a set stolen the other day. I’m afraid I’m going to have to impound your car.
Of course, I should’ve just said no. Instead, I urged the caller to try me again in a couple of months when my situation would be more amenable to making a charitable contribution. And, hopefully, Fondy would be around to yell “Don’t answer it!”.
Hey, came across something of interest to all you avid readers out there. Apex Publications, which publishes the critically acclaimed Apex Science Fiction and Horror Digest, is offering an APEX FOR LIFE subscription that, in their words “gives you Apex until you die.” Check out the website for details and some free fiction:
I’ll be getting myself a subscription. Oh, and Sylvia and fsmn36, as the lucky winners of the last Book of the Month Club discussion random draw, you’ll both be receiving lifetime subscriptions as well. I’ll be in touch!
Now go watch the Survivor season finale and root for Cirie.
Given Iron Man’s projected $175 000 000+ domestic two-week take, it’s safe to assume that the superhero genre is alive and well in Hollywood. In fact, just last week, Marvel announced a development slate that includes the following feature film projects: Ant-Man, Captain America, Thor, and The Avengers. Meanwhile, The Punisher and The Hulk are returning to the big screen (hopefully with a better effort than the first go-round), while Wolverine gets his very own solo adventure. On the DC Comics side, we can look forward to the upcoming Dark Knight while development continues on Shazam and The Justice League. And then there’s the hotly anticipated Watchmen, movie. Yep, life is good for superheroes (though much less so for anime heroes. Sorry, Speed Racer) and I couldn’t be happier. As someone who grew up reading comic books, it’s great to see the characters whose adventures I so enjoyed following those many years ago (approximately three if I’m doing the math right) finally come to life. Of course, for every Iron Man, Spiderman, and Batman Begins, there’s a Daredevil, Elektra, Ghost Rider, and Fantastic Four. You can’t expect them all to be winners (case in point: Batman, Batman Returns, Batman Forever, Batman and Robin, and - Lord have mercy on our souls! - Howard the Duck), but a fan can dream. And this particular fan looks forward to the day that some of his favorite comic book characters (perhaps lesser known but no less entertaining) get the big screen treatment as well.
Deathlock the Demolisher: Following an injury that nearly claims his life, Colonel Luthor Manning awakens to find himself wholly transformed. Now a cyborg living in a post-apocalyptic future, his every day is a fight for survival and a struggle to hold onto what tiny shred of humanity that still resides within him.
Dr. Midnite: After being blinded in an underworld attack, surgeon Charles McNider discovers he actually possesses the ability to see in perfect darkness. Armed with black-out bombs (designed to blind his opponents and give him the edge) and assisted by, appropriately enough, an owl, he fights crime as Dr. Midnite.
Green Lantern: When test pilot Hal Jordan investigates the wreckage of an alien spaceship, he comes across the craft’s injured pilot, Abin Sur. Mortally wounded, the dying alien gives Hal his power ring and battery, passing on the mantel of Green Lantern.
Hawkeye: Circus performer Clint Barton is a crack shot with a bow and arrow, but his unwitting association with some criminal elements puts him on the run. Alone with only his circus skills to rely on, Clint assumes the persona of the trick-shot shooting superhero Hawkeye in a desperate bid to clear his name.
Hourman: While experimenting as part of his research position at Bannermain Chemicals, scientist Rex Tyler discovers a “vitamin” that grants him superhuman abilities for a limited amount of time (approximately one hour). Dubbing his discovery “Miraclo”, Rex uses it to transform himself into a formidable crime fighter - and, in time, an addict to the very pill that grants him his powers.
The Vision: Created by the robot Ultron as a weapon against The Mighty Avengers, the synthezoid Vision boasts optic heat beams, flight, and the ability to control his density, capable of shifting his body from diamond hard to intangible with the merest thought. Possessed of the synthetic brain patterns of deceased former hero Simon Williams (aka Wonder Man), however, Vision turns against his creator. Ultimately, he must learn to adjust to his new life as a hero.
Those were some of my favorites. So what about yours? Who do you want to see get the big screen treatment? Brother Voodoo? Matter Eater Lad? Infectious Lass?
“Hey, wanna go check out a cannon?”Marty G. asked as me I strolled by his office this morning. Would I?! Faced with the unappealing option of resuming work on my beat sheet, I happily took him up on his offer and joined him in heading over to Stage 1 where we wandered amongst the various goodies in the works. The cannon. An entranceway. The engine room.
“Recognize your well?” Production Designer James Robbins motioned to the oven (which he has affectionately coined the Bunmaster 3000) over to my left. I’d given it a glance walking by but, upon scrutiny, identified the familiar “stone work” and finish that had eluded me the first time. My well! My precious, creepy, so-heavy-they-needed-a-forklift-to-move-it-during-the-Whispers-shoot well was no more! Damn. I’d kind of had my eye on it in the unlikely event production on the series eventually wrapped. It would have looked great in my backyard. Or the upstairs guest room.
Ah well. Plenty more mementos to choose from. Over Stargate’s 12+ year run, the franchise has amassed a vast inventory of props, costumes, and set dec. Weapons, alien devices, an assortment of colorfully garish hats, and a half-dozen phone booths were just some of the items we came across that afternoon we toured the Stargate storehouse. And, as we wandered by the goa’uld architectural pieces and matching peacock light fixtures, I made a mental note of the things I would love to lay claim to once the series does end. It’s a list I’m constantly revising but, at present, consists of:
1. The Carmen Miranda headdress worn by the goa’uld Zipacna in the episode Pretense, an item that was put up for auction on eBay several years ago and managed all of zero bids.
2. One of the serpent guard helmets worn by the Jaffa during SG-1’s early run - oversized, unwieldy things that offered little visibility and led to many hilarious outtakes of top-heavy extras stumbling about in the forest.
3. Chris Judge, whose cheerful personality and loquacious nature is a far cry from the stoic character he played on SG-1; a great addition to any party you happen to be planning.
4. The creepy, eyeless wooden doll that James Robbins created for Whispers - the perfect gift for an impressionable young nephew.
5. The Rodneyana Villosa seen in Quarantine (the, uh, all grown up version). A real conversation piece.
6. Tyre’s sword from Broken Ties. I’ll never understand why the sword-as-accessory went out of style. I’m bringing it back.
7. The U-shaped devices that villagers in Revisions attached to their temples. I’d wear it everywhere and, in the event I ever got stuck talking to someone, I could just tap the device and say “I’ve got to take this call.”, start talking to myself and walk off. Modern technology. What will they think of next?!
8. The “alien” glassware used in Beneath the Surface - the most bizarre, counter-intuitive drinking vessels ever committed tofilm.
9. The wrist device from Tracker (I’m hoping it’ll be operational by the time production winds down).
10. The box of chocolate-covered macadamia nuts I gave Carl Binder on his first day on job which has sat, unopened, in his office for the last three years.
A reminder to all that our next Book of the Month Club discussions are fast approaching. Author Joe Abercrombie will be dropping in the week of May 19th to discuss The Blade Itself, the first book in his First Law series (and our fantasy selection for May). Then, the week of May 26th will Stargate fave John Scalzi stopping by to field your questions and comments about The Android’s Dream (our scifi selection for May). And, finally, the week of June 2nd, we’ll be discussing John Shirley’s Crawlers (which looks to be equal parts science fiction and horror).
Mailbag:
Delaynie writes: “Anyway, my question dear sir is what are the possibilities of getting some DeLuise love for Atlantis?”
Answer: No chance. Sorry. Peter isn’t working on Stargate: Atlantis.
Carol Z writes: “1) I thought writing was highly collaborative on SGA? Why only one writer credit per episode? 2) Is it unusual to have all the writers also be the producers? Or is this commonplace in TV-land? 3) Why do some of the episode titles change so often?”
Answers: 1) Even though all of the writers take part in helping to shape the script, only one writer actually sits down and writes it. 2) This is not unusual in television. 3) There are many, many reasons why a title may change from a shift in the content of a given script to personal preference.
PG15 writes: “1. Is Outsiders the name for Alan’s “location episode”?
2. So I see that Tracker is again listed below The Queen. So is Tracker now 509, and The Queen 508?
3. Are these wonderful pics of Todd and the badass Wraith from The Queen?
4. With Martin Gero coming up with this great idea, does that mean that Hexed is dead? Could it be moved to a potential Season 6?
5. Episode 519 is written and directed by Robert Cooper; am I right?”
Answers: 1) Yes. 2) At this particular moment - yes. 3) Yes. 4) Not necessarily. It’s possible. 5) That’s the plan.
Rose writes: “How many episodes in Season 5, thus far,would you say are team-centric episodes?”
Answer: Sorry. Can’t answer that one because what constitutes a “team-centric” episode is all too often a matter of opinion.
The Teslan writes: “I was looking at your book recommendations in some of your posts and noticed there was no mention of Michael Crichton.”
Answer: I haven’t read Crichton.
Sammie writes: “Any chance we’ll see Jack in season 5?”
Answer: No chance. Sorry.
Nodaskip writes: “1. Will we still see the Phoenix in regular time since it will soon be up to when it was up to when Carter got command of it in the ‘Last Man’ timeline.
2. And will we ever see a ship named after the late commander of the Prometheus, Colonel Lionel Pendergast?”
Answers: 1) Eventually. 2) Nope.
PG15 also writes: “Is 519 “CSI Atlantis”?”
Answer: Yes, it is.
AMZ writes: “I was wondering, roughly how long does it take to edit an episode of Stargate Atlantis?”
Answer: The editor starts assembling his cut after the first day of production. Once his cut is complete, the director will go in and work on his cut for a couple of days, then output a director’s cut. The producer will then go in and, over the next couple of days, fashion a producer’s cut. The network and studio will watch the producer’s cut, provide notes, and it’s back to the editing room for the producer who will incorporate said notes and then lock the cut.
Tim the Technician writes: “Just like you’re the “Ties” man (With The Ties That Bind, Family Ties and Broken Ties under your belt) I just noticed that Alan McCullough wrote ‘Insiders’ for SG:1 Season 10, and (if the title sticks), ‘Outsiders’ for SG:A Season 5. Have you noticed any other trends like that in the Stargate writing crew?”
Answer: Yeah. Carl seems to be our ghost guy: Phantoms, Echoes, Ghost in the Machine.
Chevron7 writes: “Joe, I see that Brenton Spencer has directed one other episode of Atlantis (Submersion). Would he have had to go through a ‘Stargate 101′ (say watch a few eps) so he knows the general style of the show or would he just do his own thing?”
Answer: Brenton was a director of photography on the franchise for quite some time, so he knows the show very well.
Farscapefan writes: “Could you tell me whether Rob Cooper did already his Ark of Truth entry and Q&A session about it? If not yet, when it’s gonna take place?”
Answer: Rob will be dropping by to do an Ark of Truth Q&A in a couple of weeks. I’ll be sure to make an announcement closer to the date.
Boomer Goodheart writes: “I know that TV (just like the movies) is shot out of sequence. My question is whether you shoot all of one episode, then start on another or are they all kind of mixed up together?”
Answer: Ideally, and schedule permitting, we prefer to shoot our episodes one at a time.
Martin almost had himself a new story today. I say almost because, after spinning out what he felt was a wonderfully exciting idea, Martin returned to his office and, in the process of writing it up, came to the conclusion that, hey, this concept has the potential to go wrong in so many different ways. So, he’s back at Square #1. On the brighter side, both Alan and Carl have episode titles for their scripts. Outsiders will be Alan’s follow-up to The Queen, while Carl’s script, formerly titled The Red Shirt Diaries before being re-titled to First Day, has become Prodigal. Skip over that big, blank space at the #15 slot and you come to my final episode of the season, tentatively titled Remnants. A little more progress today which took the form of my promising to have a beat sheet ready for Monday. I guess there’s nothing left to do now but write the damn thing.
Well, hey. Marty G. just dropped by to pitch out his new, wonderfully exciting idea for Episode #15. We all love it. I suggested he rush back to his office and write it up before he changes his mind. Again.
I was at post today to approve that insert for Broken Ties and, on my way out, poked my head in on the Whispers assembly. It’s looking veeeeery, creepy and presently running about four and a half minutes long. Will, busy on location shooting Tracker, will work on it this weekend. I hope to see a cut by Monday.
For those of you wondering who is writing and directing what this season, here’s how the first half of the season breaks down. Note, these aren‘t the official credits (ie. “Written by me“ will not appear in the Whispers opening).
Search and Rescue: Written by Martin Gero, Directed by Andy Mikita
The Seed: Written by Paul Mullie, Directed by Will Waring
Broken Ties: Written by me, Directed by Ken Girotti
The Daedalus Variations: Written by Alan McCullough, Directed by Andy Mikita
Ghost in the Machine: Written by Carl Binder, Directed by Ken Girotti
The Shrine: Written by Brad Wright, Directed by Andy Mikita
Whispers: Written by me, Directed by Will Waring
The Queen: Written by Alan McCullough, Directed by Brenton Spencer
Tracker: Written by Carl Binder, Directed by Will Waring
First Contact/The Lost Tribe: Written by Martin Gero, Directed by Andy Mikita
Finally, some possibly sad news on the local culinary scene. Fondy walked by our favorite Greek restaurant, Ouzerie, the other day, and reports it appears to be closed. Closed! First our favorite schnitzel place, The Budapest, shuts down, and now our favorite hang-out for lamb looks to have closed up shop. My mother will be devastated!
A belated blog dedication to Susan W. Best of luck on that job interview.
Mailbag:
Linburk writes: “I was wondering what would be the best way to email you or get into contact with you. I am starting a blog in which I review scifi/fantasy books. I would like some input on what would be the best books to read.”
Answer: You can try me at moorsyum@yahoo.com or check out any of the following books: The First Law series (Joe Abercrombie), Consider Phlebas, Use of Weapons, The Player of Games (Iain M. Banks), The Martian Chronicles (Ray Bradbury), Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card), Stories of Your Life and Others (Ted Chiang), Childhood’s End (Arthur C. Clarke), Camp Concentration (Thomas M. Disch), The Empire of Ice Cream (Jeffrey Ford), Smoke and Mirrors (Neil Gaiman), The Princess Bride (William Goldman), The Forever War (Joe Haldeman), The Lies of Locke Lamorra (Scott Lynch), A Feast for Crows, A Game of Thrones, A Clash of Kings, A Storm of Swords (George R. R. Martin), The Scar (China Mieville), The Name of the Wind (Patrick Rothfuss), Old Man’s War (John Scalzi), Armor (John Steakley), City of Pearl (Karen Traviss), The Keep (F. Paul Wilson), Lord of Light (Roger Zelazny), SFWA European Hall of Fame. Start with those.
Bailey writes: “Do the other writers get to be on set when their episodes are being shot?”
Answer: They can swing by the set whenever they like. All of the show’s writers are also producers.
Barbara writes: “ive noticed the last few seasons rodney and lots of water
will be treated to another wet and soaked epp?”
Answer: Yes, in the front half of the season you’ll be treated to a very soppy sequence.
Terry writes: “Will you see the new “Iron Man” film?”
Answer: When it comes out on dvd, sure.
Samanta writes: “I’m currently working on a research paper, for my english class, on the mental and physical process of creating a script. I have a few question’s I’d like to ask you, and if you are able to free some time up for me, is there an email address I can send my questions to?”
Answer: Check out my answer to the first question.
Melissa writes: “Will you be taking any pictures of Joe Flanigan for your blog soon?”
Answer: Nope. Sorry.
GoSpikey writes: “Is there any chance of seeing Connor Trinneer in more than one episode next season?”
Answer: Chances are good.
Gatelady writes: “There have been previous insinuations that Radek is a bit of a perv, with the “he sniffs my hair” etc. comments from Keller and Carter. Now you have him working alone with a 15 year old girl? Dudes! this is just sick. Seriously, what are you thinking?!?!?”
Answer: The bigger question is - What the hell are YOU thinking?!?!?
Eva K. writes: “Just wondering… why was it prolonged so late?”
Answer: There are times when the schedule is so tight, that we may drop scenes to make our day. And, usually, the scenes to be dropped are what we refer to as “inserts”, quickie shots of someone holding up a photograph or drawing a sword from a scabbard - essentially, a shot that can be picked up at a later date because it doesn’t involve a specific actor. In the case of the insert shot I referred to in my last entry, it was shot but I asked for a re-shoot because I felt that the angle might confuse viewers as to who, exactly, was pulling their sword.
Thornyrose writes: “Is there some particular reason that Broken Ties is not further along the production process, or are things about status quo?”
Answer: The later addition of the insert in no way delayed post-production on Broken Ties.
Thornyrose also writes: “And when is episode 16 scheduled to start filming?”
Answer: Last time I checked, some time in late July.
Paloosa writes: “Do you still break it down into the more traditional three acts like a screenplay, and use the plot points for the commercial breaks? Or is there a completely different format for TV?”
Answer: The Stargate structure = a tease and five acts.
Mercie writes: “Just wondering, have you ever read Calculating God by Robert J. Sawyer?”
Answer: I haven’t, although I did read (and enjoyed) Hominids.
Wraithbones writes: “I just noticed that on your previously read list there was a book called ‘The Name of the Wind’ […] Did you think it was a good book?”
Answer: I thought it was a great book.
Lynn08 writes: ““Are there no prisons?” in Atlantis? Being such an insulated community, I would think the Atlantis base would have its share of crime.”
Answer: There are cells (used for temporary confinement), but no prisons. If any member of the expedition actually commits a crime while on Atlantis, he/she will be immediately shipped back to Earth.
Sherwood Forest Maiden writes: “Hi Joe, could I have blog dedication for Sunday 11th May??”
Answer: Sure, birthday girl, so long as you remind me on the day.
Well, yesterday’s entry really struck a chord with a lot of readers. Like global warming and human rights, “strange objects you can find in your pizza” is obviously a topic near and dear to many of your hearts. 160 comments and counting! Thank you for sharing your incredibly disturbing personal experiences of the weird things you have found in your food.
Well, I was at the studio until wrap last night, overseeing a pick-up on an insert. Now, normally, I don’t hang around for inserts, but given that this was the second time around for what I figured to be a fairly straightforward shot of a sword being drawn, I decided it might be best if I was on set. “We’ll get to it at around five thirty,”I was informed. Then: “It might be closer to six.” And: “Six thirty for sure.” Later: “Seven o’ clock.” And then: “Head down in twenty minutes.”(This at 7:00 p.m.). Come 7:45 p.m., main unit finally wrapped. The crew quickly moved in, set up the shot - got three takes of the sword being drawn (just in case) and we were done. It had taken all of five minutes and, just like that, Broken Ties was complete. Minus score, sound, color timing, and visual effects.
Yes, it feels like not that long ago I was prepping episode #3 and now, here I sit, thinking about thinking about episode #16. Yes, I’ll eventually start making headway but, at this point in a story‘s development, it‘s so easy to get distracted by seemingly more pressing matters such as: 1) convincing Carl to model the outfit that the costume department has come up with for Tracker, 2) getting into a long and involved discussion about our lunch options before eventually deciding to go with the Calypso oxtail from The Reef, 3) emptying my recycling bin, 4) de-linting my suit, and, most important of all, 5) making sure I have enough pens. Yep. 11 last time I checked.
Hey, for any of you looking for some great free fiction, head on over here:
And follow the link to downloadable version of Cherie Priest’s Four and Twenty Blackbirds, compliments of Tor Books. Priest’s debut novel is a terrific Southern Gothic tale. I decided to check it out because I liked the cover art, thought I’d read a chapter, then another, and another and, before I knew it, I was thoroughly engrossed. It’s apparently the first in a series, so I’ll no doubt be ordering up the next couple of books (in addition to a copy of the one I’m reading now for my growing collection). A truly delightful read.
I’ve never been a fan of surprises in my food. I remember, as a youngster, being served a birthday cake with coins baked into the mix. Coins IN the mix! I mean, why not marbles, collectible bottlecaps, or some needle and thread to help little Jimmy score his Junior Scout sewing badge? I suppose yesteryear’s adorably good idea is today’s lawsuit waiting to happen. Still, as a lifelong eater, my distaste for “things that do not belong” makes me particularly sensitive to food horror stories. Like the one my buddy Steve told me about the other day.
This past weekend, Steve had a pizza delivered to his place. But as he sat down to enjoy a slice, he discovered a piece of wood baked into the cheese. Not a splinter or a hunk but a half inch thick, 4” by 4” piece of timber. “Did you order the Lumberjack Special?”I asked. It turns out he’d ordered Pepperoni & Cheese. And, to the best of his knowledge, wood (chunky, splintered, or otherwise) was not among the list of available toppings.
Steve picked up the phone and called up the pizza chain’s main office, not to berate anyone or score any sort of freebie, but to find out what kind of response his story would elicit. Would the person on the other end of the phone be shocked? Incredulous? Profusely apologetic? Try barely interested. She sighed as if to suggest this sort of thing happened all the time, then consulted some handy chart that let her know what, presumably, finding a 4” by 4” piece of wood in your pizza entitled you to. Turns out, it’s a pizza of equal value.
Now I found this endlessly fascinating. Not so much the DVD-sized piece of wood in the pizza or the relative disinterest on the part of the employee, but the fact that the company made use of a reference chart that dictated exactly what kind of recompense could be expected for a specific foreign object discovered in their pizza. Well, I did some digging and, after hours of exhaustive research, I managed to get my hands on a copy of said chart. Check it out:
Foreign Object: Hair, fingernail, etc.
Compensation: Extra cheese with next order.
Foreign Object: Insect (in part or whole)
Compensation: Choice of any topping with next order.
Foreign Object: Rodent part and/or excrement.
Compensation: Large Coke or 7-Up with next order.
Foreign Object: Rabbit’s foot (lucky).
Compensation: Complimentary order of cinnamon twisters.
Foreign Object: Rabbit’s foot (unlucky)
Compensation: Two complimentary orders of cinnamon twisters.
Foreign Object: Piece of wood (any size).
Compensation: Pizza of equal value.
Foreign Object: Piece of metal/plastic (any size)
Compensation: Pizza of equal value + order of wacky bread.
Foreign Object: Partial human appendage.
Compensation: Large pizza, any topping + large Coke or 7-Up.
Foreign Object: Monocle.
Compensation: 2 medium pizzas.
Foreign Object: Monocle worn by Werner Kemplerer during his run as Colonel Klink on Hogan’s Heroes.
Compensation: 2 medium pizzas + order of wacky bread.
Foreign Object: Glass shard (any size)
Compensation: Order of spicy wings + large Coke or 7-Up.
Foreign Object: Lemur skull.
Compensation: 2 large pizzas.
Foreign Object: Sharp instrument (non-murder-related but including possible assault).
Compensation: 2 large pizzas.
Foreign Object: Murder weapon (cleaned).
Compensation: 2 large pizzas.
Foreign Object: Murder weapon (uncleaned).
Compensation: 2 large pizzas + cinnamon twisters + potential reward for information leading to a conviction (at the discretion of the local authorities).
Foreign Object: Rare signed copy of Proust’s Le Temps retrouvé.Compensation: 3 large pizzas.
Foreign Object: Ham and pineapple.
Compensation: 3 large pizzas + personal letter of apology from the company president.
All well and good but, seriously, if you found a toenail, a dried caterpillar, or a three year old taxi receipt in your thin crust all-dressed would you be all that inclined to eat anything from the source company ever again? Even if it was free?
We used to frequent a certain Japanese restaurant all the time - until the day Fondy found a piece of glass in her salad. And that was that. We never went back. Growing up, my mother would always make a point of stopping by a local bakery on her way home so we could enjoy their home baked bread. Until the day she found a piece of plastic in the loaf. And there was the time 12 year old me spied a grocery bill swimming in the bottom of our large bottle of 7-Up. My mother was furious. My father, for his part, calmly fished the soggy bill out of the bottle - not to use as evidence in some official customer complaint, but to carefully copy out the timely numbers on the statement for use as that week’s lotto picks. Needless to say, they were not winners. And, in the end, while the incident didn’t stop mom from drinking 7-Up, her drink of choice, it certainly embittered her toward the makers of 7-Up and soft drink companies in general.
So, what’s the weirdest thing you’ve found in your food?
Today’s blog entry is dedicated to Sylvia for helping Anne out with the upcoming BOTM club selections.
Today’s video: Guard Dogs! Fierce, no? Click the link or scroll all the way down…
Padawan Aneiki writes: “What’s the most dangerous stunt and/or physical effects shot have you guys ever pulled off on SGA?”
Answer: I wouldn’t call any of our stunts dangerous. We have the best stunt coordinator in the city working for us (James Bamford) and all of the stunts are executed by trained professionals. If you had asked me what I thought was the most spectacular stunt we’ve ever pulled off, the one that immediately comes to mind is the replicator jump off the crane in Outcast. The stuntman in that sequence = James Bamford.
ME-Lorne-Super-Fan writes: “Nice new layout by the way, you made it yourself???”
Answer: Nope. It’s one of the many wordpress themes available to users.
PG15 writes: “Does Stargate Continuum now happen after Carter leaves Atlantis in Search and Rescue?”
Answer: Yes.
David writes: “I wanted to know how long in advance before a season starts do you begin writing scripts?”
Answer: About 2-3 months prior to the commencement of principal photography.
Sparrow_hawk writes: “I know that a lot of Wraith fans are nearly overcome with anxiety and are nibbling their nails to the quick (or perhaps even gnawing them to bleeding stubs) since the plot summary for “The Lost Tribe” was posted on the Stargate Solutions blog. I don’t suppose you can set their minds at ease about the fate of the Wraith without giving away too much plot, can you?”
Answer: I’ll just say this. Todd is a multi-layered character and not your typical villain. He acts and reacts logically to the situations in which he finds himself. Don’t be so quick to judge - especially when it comes to Todd.
Naamiaiset writes: “Do you ever get tired of seeing the typical Sci-Fi formula of “good kills evil” and wanted to use/do something different in SGA?”
Answer: My favorite characters are neither good nor evil but somewhere in between.
Judy writes: “What do you think of Clifford Simak?”
Answer: Loved The Way Station.
Shiningwit writes: “Well wish me luck as I have an assessment at 9.30 this morning…”
Answer: So how did it go?
Annie from Freemantle writes: “I’ve got an idea how about “LookwhatforeignobjectIfoundinmytakeoutfood.com””
Answer: Brilliant. And prescient.
Paloosa writes: “I’m miss your pugs. Anymore pictures?”
Answer: How about a video?
Shirt ‘n Tie writes: “There is a scene (which you featured on the blog) of a McKay / Keller Walk and Talk where Keller coughs and realises she’s got the Hoffan Virus. Was this shot on the pathway directly outside Bridge? That stretch that runs parallel to your office?”
Answer: Good eye, Paul. Yes, it is.
Jmanzione writes: “I would like to extend an invitation to my little site on the net, and offer you a Lifetime Membership.”
Answer: That’s very kind of you. I’ll be swinging by in the next few days.
Marsha writes: “ By the way, you never answered by “rocks” question. (Food on the rocks?) It’s driving me nuts - I may have to go to that restaurant just to find out for sure.”
Answer: What was the question again? If it was “Are those rocks” then the answer is “Yep.”.
Luis811 writes: “Where is janina from??”
Answer: Janina is from L.A. But she is a native of Chicago.
GoSpikey writes: “Is Peter DeLuise going to make a contribution to the mid-season 2-parter?”
Answer: Sorry, Spikey. Peter hasn’t worked on the show in years.
Airelle writes: “Do rewrites occur when you are doing the scene, if its not working as you envision it.”
Answer: Occasionally, adjustments may be made to dialogue on set.
Airelle also writes: “Are you on set when filming what you write?”
Answer: I try to be. I dropped by the set while they were shooting Broken Ties, but was there for almost all of the Whispers shoot. I’ll probably be on set or most of Episode #16 as well.
DeeinSouthAfrica writes: “Um, what’s with the automatically generated links at the top? Why try and lure us away?”
Answer: It’s a new wordpress feature I’m not totally sold on. I’ll give it a few more days and then probably lose it.
NarelleFromAus writes: “Locally in Aus, a set of sneakers or shoes thrown over a power line means that there is an affluent pit bull owner in the near vicinity.”
Answer: Really?
Louis writes: “Did you learn Italian and French while growing (family, reiends) up or as an adult (computer software).”
Answer: French and Italian I learned growing up. The little Japanese I know I’ve learned through language CD’s.
Among the guests at my third annual chocolate party was Janina “Dusty” Gavankar’s boyfriend Angelo, an incredibly friendly, soft-spoken guy who, it turns out, is a huge fan of scifi. He was in town to meet with some business associates and I suggested that, schedule permitting, they should swing by the set and check out Janina action. So, days later, they swung by to snap pics, check out the gate, and partake in lukewarm craft service spring rolls. You can read all about their set visit (and check out more behind-the-scene photos) at their little website located here: http://spyed.deviantart.com/journal/18143164/
And, by “little”, I’m being my usual sarcastic self because DeviantArt is a HUGE online artist community whose massive daily traffic places it in the Top 60 internet sites. Mighty impressive and, in retrospect, an incredibly brilliant idea.
Today, Ivon and I were talking about DeviantArt and another gaming site started by a couple of down on their luck entrepreneurs who transformed a simple idea into a multi-million dollar business. Angelo, these guys, and others like them didn’t succeed because they were lucky. They succeeded because they were able to foresee potential opportunities, hone in on a target market, create demand, and deliver a quality product. Simple, no?
Which got Ivon and I to thinking that we should create our own fabulously successful site. So far, this is what I’ve got:
Food Fooferah: An online food community where you can check out culinary creations from all over the world and, if the fancy strikes you, have them shipped right to your door. Don’t feel like cooking tomorrow night (or, maybe 4-6 weeks from when you place your order, depending on how you choose to have the items shipped)? Why not enjoy some home cooked maultaschen from TanteHelga3019 in Germany, or a Xiangdu roast duck platter from 龙888 in Hunan province? Looking to unload last night’s tuna casserole? Well, maybe you’ll find a taker in FouPourLeThon7447.
Murder Co-op: Inspired by Hitchcock’s Strangers on a Train in which two strangers meet on a train and agree to exchange murders, figuring that they would never be suspects because they would have neither a motive nor a link to the victim. Members sign up and receive an assignment - say, that mouthy guy in Hunan province who’s always roasting up Xiangdu duck. They pop on over, knock him off, then head back home by which time they will have hopefully received some positive feedback (ie. “Excellent work. A pleasure to do business with. Body not discovered for days.” or “Great transaction. Thanks for speedy delivery.”) and a chit that allows for the entry of one name in the ever-scrambled victim pool.
Now Alex Levine informs me that this last one may run afoul of an archaic law or two, but he’s looking into it.
Other great though not quite fleshed-out - ideas include: SneakerSwap.com, UnlabeledHerbIdentifier.net, and VirtualHairCut.Org.
I’m on a roll.
Today’s blog entry is dedicated to Katja’s little buddy Thor.
We were discussing relationship linchpin WTF moments. You know, those occasions very early on in a relationship when someone (usually the guy) pulls some bonehead move that presents their partner with a choice: stick it out or cut your losses. In the case of Fondy and I, it was our very first date at a long-gone Montreal restaurant called The Cajun House. As we perused the menu, I asked her whether she would like a drink or not. She playfully accused me of trying to get her drunk, an accusation I denied in a, uh, spectacularly animated manner. In that brief moment, she wondered whether she was out with a lunatic. Nonetheless, she decided to stick it out - in large part, I believe, because she’d heard the gumbo was really good. For our friends, Steve and Jodi, it was what Fondy has come to refer to as “The Sock-eye Incident”. Very early on in their relationship, Steve and Jodi were at a laundromat when Steve spotted a forlorn sock lying on the floor. In his infinite wisdom, he elected to wind up and boot it across the room. The filthy sock sailed across the room and, in a thousand to one fluke, nailed Jodi right in the eye. Well, for most, that would have been grounds to call the whole thing off right there but, like my wife, Jodi chose to stick it out. And now they’re happily married.
The interesting thing about these relationship linchpin WTF moments is that rather than being behavioral aberrations, they often do foreshadow the shape of things to come. Fondy was quick to point this out last, sighting the “mud shoe incident” (read the hilarious account here: http://josephmallozzi.wordpress.com/2007/12/27/december-27-2007-fondy-gets-bogged-down-i-miss-a-photo-op-and-creepy-gingerbread-men/). Jodi had a similar story involving Steve’s reaction to her flicking a glob of salad dressing directly into her eye (let’s call this one the “Salad-eye Incident) during a recent trip to Hawaii. The double jolt of citric acid and vinegar had her reeling, scrambling to flush out her stinging eye. In his defense, I’m sure Steve would have certainly stepped in to offer some assistance - had he not been so busy laughing.
The four of us had plenty of time to discuss past relationship faux-pas, an interesting new business venture, and my increasing sleep debt as we waited the thirty minutes between our third and fourth courses. We were at Restaurant Connor Butler, a place I’d been meaning to check out about a year ago when it first opened but never got around to. Since then, the only thing I’d heard about it was the hue and cry raised by the local dining dilettanti for Chef Connor’s use of Versace dinnerware. Really. Well, Jodi was able to make reservations and we swung by last night at 7:30 p.m.
We were seated in the intimate dining room, were presented with menus and, after some consideration, all decided to go with the Chef’s five-course menu. Seconds later, Chef Connor himself came out to welcome us to restaurant and inquire about our preferences. Any allergies? Was there anything we didn’t like? Was there anything on the menu that had caught our eye? Connor is an imposing figure - tall, heavy set, but possessed of a disarming jocularity and almost child-like enthusiasm. Imagine Penn Gillette cookign for you. Anyway, we informed him we were adventurous eaters. Delighted, he headed back to the kitchen to prepare our meals.
Dinner started promisingly enough with an appetizer platter comprised of prawn, goat cheese and organic jam on crostini, a tiny foie-gras and blackberry creation, and saffron chips - served, incidentally, on a beautiful Versace service plate.
For our next course, Fondy and Jodi received the oyster on the half shell topped with “parmesan air”. Unfortunately, Fondy found her oyster a little suspect. Steve and I, meanwhile, were served a tuna dish that, if not wholly successful, proved an admirable attempt.
Next up, the ladies enjoyed a goat cheese terrine served with a warm beet and citrus. Steve and I had a very good sablefish and an ox-tail croquette that, though overcooked, was somewhat saved by the very good accompanying sauce.
Fondy and Jodi’s next course was a scallop and sweetbread duo. The scallop was plump and perfect, but the sweetbread was, sadly, overdone. The opposite was true of the prawn nestled at heart of my spring prawn and Dungeness crab bisque. It caught me unawares, slithering down my throat like one of those parasites from Cronenberg’s Shivers. Fortunately, the bisque itself proved a more than competent chaser. In fact, of all the night’s dishes, the bisque was my favorite.
And that was that for a while. A long while. As we sat, waiting for our meal to resume, we couldn’t help but notice the table next to us - a foursome that included a local t.v. celebrity - being served their courses at a pleasingly prompt pace. “Sorry for the delay,”our waiter apologized in passing. Then, by way of an explanation: “That table informed us they were in a hurry.” “I wish we would have thought of that,”said Steve wistfully. The waiter let us know that, by way of an apology, we would be received extra courses. All well and good but, thirty minutes after the bisque I was no longer hungry and ready to hit the road.
Dinner eventually resumed with a fine pepper consomme, followed by an equally fine roasted duck breast for the ladies and a…hmmm…to be honest, I don’t know quite it was. The waiter said it was some sort of truffled pork sausage but it possessed the unfortunate appearance of a well-done pizza pocket that had been left out overnight. I’d love to say it tasted better than it looked.
All four of us were served the same final main: a dry-aged beef tenderloin with yellowfoot mushrooms, tawny port and oxtail demi glace. Fondy enjoyed hers. For my part, three hours in and I was ready for bed.
However, I received a pleasant wake-up call in the form of our first dessert: an apple brulee. To be honest, when it was set down in front of me, I was prepared to pass it over to Fondy. But one somewhat reluctant spoonful later and I was completely won over.
Our second dessert was a nice looking but fairly run-of-the-mill brownie sundae.
Our evening concluded with a nice assortment of petits-fours and an amusing story about someone’s misguided attempt to put out a blazing marshmallow by waving it back and forth - resulting in their catching the flaming confection square in the eye. We’ll call that one the “Marshmallow-eye Incident”.
Being on set during the production of Whispers was a lot of fun. But it could have gone the other way. Given the inherent complexities of shooting this episode, it could have turned into a nightmare (ironic, no?). Yet in spite of the early calls and the late wraps, the fickleness of fog, and a scheduling shell game that had the guys upstairs longing for the Summer hiatus, it all came together in the end. And it came together thanks to the hard work of everyone involved - but especially the crew, the show’s unsung heroes. They may not give the big magazine interviews or get invited to cons, but they’re damn good at what they do - in addition to being a real pleasure to work with. So, today’s blog is dedicated to all those who work behind the camera to bring you our little show. Just pass your cursor over the pics to find out who does what…
The Blade Itself, Joe Abercrombie.
Discussion the week of May 19th, with author Joe Abercrombie.
The Android's Dream, John Scalzi.
Discussion the week of May 26th, with author John Scalzi.
Crawlers, John Shirley.
Discussion the week of June 2nd.
Reading List
Presently Reading:
When the People Fell, Cordwainer Smith
Last 10 Read
Four and Twenty Blackbirds, Cherie Priest
The Final Programme, Michael Moorcock
Darwin's Radio, Greg Bear
The Empire of Ice Cream, Jeffrey Ford
TH1RTE3N, Richard K. Morgan
The Keep, F. Paul Wilson
On A Pale Horse, Piers Anthony
Nebula Awards Short Fiction Nominees, various
The Berserker Wars, Fred Saberhagen
Small Gods, Terry Pratchett
